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tbh you get so used to your mental illness that its not even like “oh god this cant be happening” like it used to be. its just like lol “here we go again another mood drop” “oh well would u look at that i cant stop shaking” “what do you know? i dont feel anything” and its such normalcy to you that it becomes this dreadful routine that never ends and the worst part about all of it is that you dont care anymore